Sunday 28 April 2013

A brief addendum to the last post.

On making mistakes.

In work, and in life.

I used to absolutely freak out if I had made a mistake, or thought I had (even though it was fairly minimal). I would even fear phone messages, thinking that I was going to get a telling-off for something I had or hadn't done.

I would feel sick on the rare occasions bosses got cross with me.

No bloody wonder I wanted to hide underneath desks at work.

I would expect perfection of myself, no matter how under the pump I was.

Then I went through a rough period, about the time that my marriage broke down. I was pretty sad and probably not over the bout of depression I had just had. I was relying on sleeping pills for regular sleep, and these made me pretty groggy of a morning.

The cracks started to show - I had trouble getting out of bed. I was regularly late. Sometimes I would forget I had appointments in the morning. I couldn't concentrate and some of my work was not great. People got cross with me. Even those who were understanding, I could still tell they were disappointed.

As mortifying as it all was, and as far from my best as I knew it was, I learned a few things from it.

1. People do understand, if you explain what is going on. They try to, anyway.
2. It really is not the end of the world. The world will turn and people will continue to want their piece of you.
3. I am fallible and need to take care of myself under stress, so that I can perform properly.
4. I do 100 things per day, if I focus too much on the 1 thing I got wrong rather than the 99 things I did fine, I am going to go loopy.

Fall down 7 times, get up 8. That's all you can do, really.

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